I am going to rant...right...now

As most of my readers know, I am a mother of three children.  It is hard to miss that fact because they are in almost all of my postings and usually not in a very positive light.  Don't get me wrong, I love my children very much and I truly love watching them grow, but that being said, I have some bones to pick about parenthood.  My entire life has been surrounded by little children.  My brothers were younger than I was and right when they were getting out of the little phase, my older sisters began to procreate.  I have brought mine into the world and now that they are bigger, guess what?  My brothers have now started to have their own as well.  It is a vicious cycle that I don't think anyone has thought about for very long, because if they did, the thought of raising children might actually scare them into celibacy.

I am about facts in my life.  I like dealing in realities and my children are no exception.  Let's make a list of the pros and cons of what children do while raising them.
Cons:

• Loss of sleep
• Varying bodily fluids such as puke, poop, pee, snot, chewed food, and sneezes spread everywhere up to and including clothing, drapery, floors, beds, hair, furniture, and body.
• Seemingly endless crying and age is not a factor, they cry almost everyday about something.  (My 4 year old is sprawled on the floor right now crying about the lack of cookies in his belly).
• Messy rooms including dumped out toy boxes, stuffed animals, legos or cars that get stepped on by me, and clothing strewn into every corner of the house.
• Sticky hands
• Messy faces and clothes despite intervention
• Dirty walls including pencil, pen, handprints, nail polish, and food
• Squeezed out toothpaste on the countertops
• Inconsolable when things don't go their way
• Fighting with siblings over the stupidest things
• Car seats
• Doctor's appointments
• Forced to push them indefinitely on the swings at the park
• Broken personal effects that once had sentimental value
• Bed time that turns into listening to them scream for an hour after putting them down.  
• No more roller coaster rides, water slides, fairs, carnivals, or movies without either someone sitting out or someone toting them around the entire time.  
• Wanna go out after 7?  Hahahaha forget that right now, don't try it's pointless
• Being asked "why?' approximately 5,930 times daily.
• Being told "no" even when you are tying to help their wellbeing
• Every single piece of food that you try to eat has to be shared amongst the clan
• Climbed on relentlessly
• Any type of food will be rejected and thrown 
• They are stubborn little boogers and threats don't work
• Interrupted bathroom and bedroom time by little fingers trying to break through the small space between the door and the floor.
• For women: sacrificed 40 weeks of your life and body to bring them into this world and then another year of nursing which adds up to almost two full years of a baby stealing your nutrients from you.  

Ok now that seems really harsh.  Is any of it a lie?? I dare any person with a child to read that list and tell me that they have not experienced some or all of those bullet points in your life as a parent.

Pros:

• They are cute little versions of yourself
• They are optimistic and have lots of energy
• You will usually get kisses and hugs 
• They will always be happy about getting ice cream
• You were able to see them grow from nothing to a human, it's an awesome sight
• They snuggle sometimes
• They listen to stories and songs and are completely enthralled with every word
• When you get to watch them sleep, they are so peaceful and this will bring joy to your heart
• They love you for who you are
• They are yours

Here's a fact, the cons list is obviously much longer than the pros but in the end, kids are ok.  Don't get me wrong; it's hard and frustrating, but be patient because they grow so fast.  I need to remember that when Judah tells me he wanted yellow cheese and not white cheese in his grilled sandwiches and even though I tell him it's the same thing but he still refuses my offer of food. On another note, I did workout today and it was great.  I could barely finish my arm set because I burned them out, but that is precisely the point.  I am feeling great about it and I am glad I started the week out right.  I felt a tad self conscious when I strolled into the gym wearing a workout shirt that was a tad too small.  Even though I was covered, I felt completely exposed.  I know no one gave a crap, but I still felt weird.  I wish I could work out in a hidden portion of the gym completely designated to my health and no one else.  That would be great.  Who do I talk to about that?