Call the Whambulance, I'm dying

Some times when I head to the gym I get these grand ideas as to how my workout is going to play out.  Today was no exception as I trotted my way upstairs to the gym equipment.  My jog was ok, nothing really amazing to note, except that I finished.  Then I decided to tackle my legs.  I did a vast array of sets including leg curls, leg extensions, hip abductors, leg press, calf exercises and shoulder presses.  To say that my body was jelly was an understatement.  I was looking at the dirty towel bin and realized that it was taking far more energy than usual to take the towel off my shoulder to toss it into the bin.  Then my empty water bottle suddenly felt like it weighed a million tons.  I scrunched my brow and decided that I had to be stronger than the bottle.  I feel a wave of euphoria mixed with another wave of nausea.  I am proud of the jelly but holy crap it hurts to get there.  Even now as I write this I am sprawled out on the carpet wondering if I will ever be able to get back up again.  Thank goodness for seven year olds that can assist me in my tasks.

I have been recently incorporating crunches to my daily routine.  It takes maybe 10 minutes, but after only two weeks, I have noticed that my shirts are not fitting as tight as they used to.  Another hooray for me was that Adam noticed that I looked better as well.  I always love hearing from him that I look better.  It is harder for people who see you everyday to notice subtle changes so the fact that he did makes me very satisfied with my progress.  It also makes me want to keep going, which is why my body is dead right now.  Motivation is key to success.

I have to give a shout out to my friend Jill, for I just found out that in order for her to get a workout in for the day, she is waking her butt up at 6am because she knows that it will not get done otherwise.  There are so many obstacles we all face when it comes to our fitness and so many of us, including me, have found ways to justify not taking care of our bodies.  Good job Jill!!

    

I am going to rant...right...now

As most of my readers know, I am a mother of three children.  It is hard to miss that fact because they are in almost all of my postings and usually not in a very positive light.  Don't get me wrong, I love my children very much and I truly love watching them grow, but that being said, I have some bones to pick about parenthood.  My entire life has been surrounded by little children.  My brothers were younger than I was and right when they were getting out of the little phase, my older sisters began to procreate.  I have brought mine into the world and now that they are bigger, guess what?  My brothers have now started to have their own as well.  It is a vicious cycle that I don't think anyone has thought about for very long, because if they did, the thought of raising children might actually scare them into celibacy.

I am about facts in my life.  I like dealing in realities and my children are no exception.  Let's make a list of the pros and cons of what children do while raising them.
Cons:

• Loss of sleep
• Varying bodily fluids such as puke, poop, pee, snot, chewed food, and sneezes spread everywhere up to and including clothing, drapery, floors, beds, hair, furniture, and body.
• Seemingly endless crying and age is not a factor, they cry almost everyday about something.  (My 4 year old is sprawled on the floor right now crying about the lack of cookies in his belly).
• Messy rooms including dumped out toy boxes, stuffed animals, legos or cars that get stepped on by me, and clothing strewn into every corner of the house.
• Sticky hands
• Messy faces and clothes despite intervention
• Dirty walls including pencil, pen, handprints, nail polish, and food
• Squeezed out toothpaste on the countertops
• Inconsolable when things don't go their way
• Fighting with siblings over the stupidest things
• Car seats
• Doctor's appointments
• Forced to push them indefinitely on the swings at the park
• Broken personal effects that once had sentimental value
• Bed time that turns into listening to them scream for an hour after putting them down.  
• No more roller coaster rides, water slides, fairs, carnivals, or movies without either someone sitting out or someone toting them around the entire time.  
• Wanna go out after 7?  Hahahaha forget that right now, don't try it's pointless
• Being asked "why?' approximately 5,930 times daily.
• Being told "no" even when you are tying to help their wellbeing
• Every single piece of food that you try to eat has to be shared amongst the clan
• Climbed on relentlessly
• Any type of food will be rejected and thrown 
• They are stubborn little boogers and threats don't work
• Interrupted bathroom and bedroom time by little fingers trying to break through the small space between the door and the floor.
• For women: sacrificed 40 weeks of your life and body to bring them into this world and then another year of nursing which adds up to almost two full years of a baby stealing your nutrients from you.  

Ok now that seems really harsh.  Is any of it a lie?? I dare any person with a child to read that list and tell me that they have not experienced some or all of those bullet points in your life as a parent.

Pros:

• They are cute little versions of yourself
• They are optimistic and have lots of energy
• You will usually get kisses and hugs 
• They will always be happy about getting ice cream
• You were able to see them grow from nothing to a human, it's an awesome sight
• They snuggle sometimes
• They listen to stories and songs and are completely enthralled with every word
• When you get to watch them sleep, they are so peaceful and this will bring joy to your heart
• They love you for who you are
• They are yours

Here's a fact, the cons list is obviously much longer than the pros but in the end, kids are ok.  Don't get me wrong; it's hard and frustrating, but be patient because they grow so fast.  I need to remember that when Judah tells me he wanted yellow cheese and not white cheese in his grilled sandwiches and even though I tell him it's the same thing but he still refuses my offer of food. On another note, I did workout today and it was great.  I could barely finish my arm set because I burned them out, but that is precisely the point.  I am feeling great about it and I am glad I started the week out right.  I felt a tad self conscious when I strolled into the gym wearing a workout shirt that was a tad too small.  Even though I was covered, I felt completely exposed.  I know no one gave a crap, but I still felt weird.  I wish I could work out in a hidden portion of the gym completely designated to my health and no one else.  That would be great.  Who do I talk to about that?      

  

Well at least I was right

Yesterday I mentioned that my two year old was sick and by 4:00 last night she was sounding oh so terrible.  I went into the pediatrician's office fully intending them to tell me that she was going to be just fine, but it turns out, she had pneumonia in her right lung.  The odd thing about this story is that she barely began showing symptoms yesterday.  They had to give her steroids and a breathing treatment before sending her over to get an x-ray.  The doctor told me that if I had waited to bring her in, she could have been really sick.  Ani was happy as a clam, but she couldn't breath, so I am glad I listened to my instinct and for once my nervousness about my children's ailments actually paid off.  That being said, today my workout was once again put on the back burner.  It's ok though, it was something legitimate and I am so happy that I didn't have to see Ani get really sick.  I would've felt terrible for waiting.  Tomorrow is Saturday, which means it's time to spend with Adam.  He may want to hit up the gym, but I highly doubt it.  I don't mind chillin' in bed and letting the morning pass me by.  That's what the weekends are for right?

I'll admit it...I've been lazy

Last week I had every intention of working out, but before I knew it, it was Thursday night and we were heading to go camping the next morning.  I don't know what it is about camping, but it leads to so much overeating.  It's like the trees are whispering that it's perfectly fine to eat yourself sick.  Then they laugh about it when you go to sleep saying, "what a stupid human, she falls for it time and time again."  I had set up the inflatable mattress for Adam and myself to avoid sleeping on the ground, but my children beat me to the punch and I didn't want to risk waking them up to switch places.  I used to be able to sleep on the ground when I was a child with no problem.  Now it's like every pebble digs into my back and I seem to lose all function of my vertebrae.  I had no pillow because one had mysteriously vanished from unpacking and so I had to fashion a poor excuse for one out of my sweater.  I was cold and uncomfortable and by the time the morning came, I felt like I had wrestled with macho man Randy Savage.  My body hurt and I was ready to go home.  I then spent the rest of Saturday trying to erase all memory of the campfire from our clothing and bedding.  I like camping, but then at the same time, I hate camping.

When Monday rolled around, I had very little energy to do anything.  I am currently in a summer funk where I watch and listen to my children being monsters and wonder if there is a place that I can hide.  There isn't for the record; they know everywhere I go and I cannot simply run away.  They'd just follow me outside asking me where we were going.  I wonder if practicing the art of the serpentine maneuver would work to break the scent of my trail?  Eeh, I guess I will keep being their mother and love them even though they drive me bonkers sometimes.  I didn't want to workout even though I knew darn well it would help the situation.  Instead I have opted for a daily nap.  It has been wonderfully lazy and even though I always get twinges of guilt for taking a nap, I did it anyway.

Last night I decided that I was going to get my butt back to the gym and was excited for it.  This morning however, I was greeted with a beyond sick toddler.  Her lungs are rattling, her nose is runny and I cannot justify exposing anyone to her right now.  It bummed me out that she interrupted my plan today.  She even put herself back to bed so I know she isn't feeling well.  So to combat the feeling of defeat I did crunches and pushups.  Judah even joined in but not before jumping on my stomach.  He's loads of fun that one.  Tomorrow I hope she is feeling better, although I tend to doubt it for how sick she is today, but I will try to be optimistic.  I need to get back to the gym.  I feel too lazy.                

Slower pace, rocked the race

I was scheduled to walk/jog three miles with added strength training for today.  I was looking forward to it because I haven't been to the gym since last Thursday.  I have stayed busy doing other things, but I was ready to get back to the routine.  I started out my pace as I normally do which is usually a 4.8 on the treadmill.  However, I was getting winded and thought to myself that I wasn't going to improve as long as I kept doing these short bursts of jogging.  I reduced my speed to a 4.4 which is equivalent to a 13:38 mile.  I wasn't so concerned with how fast I was going, but rather how long I was keeping a steady pace.  Wouldn't you know it, I was able to jog most of my workout.  I had a half a mile left and was losing steam, but I was so close.  I took a breather for a minute and pumped myself up to finish.  When I saw the machine turn over to 3 miles I had so much elation fill my bones, I had to throw my fist up into the air.  I may not be a fast runner, but I finished the way I wanted to and who can argue with that?

I focused my weight training on legs today and after my workout I had legs like jelly but a soul full of pride.  I love good workout days.  It makes the bad ones tolerable, but it also makes you feel so invincible.  I have a jawbone pedometer that keeps track of my steps and my sleep schedule.  My daily goal is 10,000 steps and I have already met it today and it's only 1:30.  No one can bring me down today, I am unstoppable!!    

That didn't feel like a rest day

Mondays according to my workout schedule is intended to be a rest day.  However, it usually isn't for me.  Monday also happens to be trash day and because I hate the smell of hot grass clippings in my garage, I try to mow my lawn before the guys come to empty my trash bins.  It started out as a simple mowing, but as I do with most things, I looked around and noticed that there was a lot more yard work to be done.  The house we live in already has established landscaping which is convenient.  At our house in Idaho Falls, the word landscape wasn't even heard of in the neighborhood.  Weeds were a way of life back then.  I don't know if it is because I am getting older or if I feel a sense of responsibility, but I enjoy doing yard work now.  Everything except weeding, that freakin' sucks and it always will.  I trimmed and beautified both the front and back yards today and was feeling so awesome.  The neighbors will be in envy of my dedication I am sure of it and hopefully they didn't notice when I walked into the weed whacker's path and nicked my shin.  Luckily the machine was off when I did it and I only caught the rotation after it had begun to slow down.  Otherwise I would have done some serious damage.  I really should be more careful with power tools.  

When I came inside I was still feeling pretty ambitious.  I used that energy to scrub both bathrooms and by the time I was done it was 1 o'clock and I had forgotten to eat lunch.  That Phil Collins was just helping me get through my chores so I didn't notice.  Maddie came to ask me a question and stopped to say, "eew, your shirt is so wet and gross mom." I don't know what it is about my family members feeling the need to point out my absolute disgustingness when it is visible. I am more than aware of my appearance, but I guess it is bad enough for her to say something.  Oh well, at least I was productive during my rest day.  My jogging schedule is the same as it was last week.  I am happy for that because when I saw that I have to jog 4 miles next week I took a mini panic breath.  It's good that I am slowly building up to higher mileage otherwise, I may think that I can't do it and get the urge to quit.

On another note, I took the kids swimming on Friday and when I sat down on the chairs provided, my thighs fit a little better in it than the last time I was there.  It may seem insignificant to some, but I am happy to notice when the little things start adding up.  Maybe the next time I sit in the pool chairs, I will once again notice an even better fit for me and my rather grande thighs.

Kids Man

Sometimes I get in these moods when I am wandering throughout the house.  I look around and see all the little things that need to be done, like scrubbing dirty handprints off my wall or finding all of the hidden children's underwear with mysterious brown stains on them.  Today I decided to tackle both Maddie and Judah's room.  When I say tackle I literally mean just that.  Maddie has a habit of collecting all of her doodles and paintings.  This wouldn't be so bad, but there seem to be thousands of pieces of paper strewn throughout her room.  I enjoy her artwork, but let's be honest, I am not going to save every piece.  My house would start to look like a crazy lady's who collects every newspaper that has ever crossed the threshold of her door.  No, I am sentimental but only in small doses.

I was able to find the carpet in her room but I also found marker doodles done by my two year old over every piece of furniture.  I have had to invest some serious cash in Mr. Clean's magic erasers for without them, I would be forced to repaint every wall in my house. Ani Rose has a keen sense of cleaned walls and like any wild animal, will soon mark her territory in the form of marker, pen, or pencil scribbles.  Right now there are pen markings all over her room that I simply cannot get out.  I will paint them in due time, but right now she can just look at her artwork; it seems to be what she wants to do anyway because as soon as I clean them, not 24 hours goes by before a fresh batch has appeared.  

I then tackled Judah's room and after what seemed like three hours, I was finished.  Both rooms were practically sparkling and of course, it didn't take long for Ani to come in and throw stuffed animals right back onto the carpet.  Some days she is beyond a monster and hopefully the terrible two's are almost over with this one.  So I decided that rather than get overly angry about stupid toys, I packed the kids up and went to run the 2 miles I was scheduled to do today.  One of the employees who watches the kids mentioned to me that it must be hard getting three kids ready to bring to the gym.  It is hard, which is why it took so long for me to start do it on a regular basis.  I feel like a mother goose with her chicks following behind her sometimes.  One day I will be able to just get myself ready and go, but today is not that day.  It's ok, I don't mind teaching them what you need to do to be healthy.      

I am feeling quite happy about my progress this week.  I have gone to the gym three days in a row and I really cannot remember the last time I did that.  I feel great and today when I got up from sleeping I began to notice my efforts.  My legs were firmer and my stomach wasn't such a mess.  I didn't hate looking at myself and I know it will only get better the longer I progress.  Slow and steady wins the race and right now I am that little turtle that keeps moving.    

Today was a killer

Last year I taped a couch to half marathon jogging schedule on my closet wall.  I have been looking at this stupid thing for all this time, but haven't had the guts to take it down.  If I took it down, then it meant that I was giving up.   Let's be honest, there was a time last year that I had no intention of exercising or bettering myself, but I was in denial about how out of shape I had gotten.  Plus, it was conveniently hidden behind a BSU flag that is also tacked up in my closet.  I know what you are thinking, flags, workout agendas; what is going on in this closet?  It is my little haven where I can hide from my kids when I have had enough and a place to hang up my football loyalties but most importantly, it's where my clothes are; and while I am standing there naked and trying to decide what to wear, it's nice to see my goals reminding me of what I want to accomplish.

I was looking at it last night and noticed that I was pretty close to being on schedule to move onto the next week of the workout.  It said for today that I needed to walk/jog a 3 miler and lift weights.  I thought that would be a great idea and it was until I hit the brick wall at about 35 minutes in.  I was almost done with the 3 miles, but it was such a struggle to lift my legs.  I was on a jog 5 minutes and walk 3 minutes routine, but I had to adjust to 3 minutes jogging and 2 minutes walking.  I finished but only after completely draining all of my energy.  I was proud of that jog.  I was sweaty and exhausted, but that is the secret recipe for success.  I almost didn't lift any weights but decided that I had better keep to my goal.  I worked on shoulders and arms today.  I didn't do it for very long, maybe ten minutes, but at least I did it.  It took all of my energy to walk down the stairs to go get the kids.  To make matters worse, when I was walking out with all of the kids, Ani Rose decided to do her famous sprint for the road.  My already tired body had to once again get into gear.  I caught her on the other side of the street and immediately wanted to give her a what-fer.  However, there were people watching my mothering skills and so I had to play it cool.  How dare this turd make me run again; doesn't she know how tired I was?  It wasn't funny and I am really quite peeved at this little trick of hers.  This isn't the first time she has run directly into danger for the laughs.  Ah well it wasn't the end of the world, but it sure feels like it; stinkin kid.

Getting ready for the fourth

I have been in good spirits this week.  Yesterday I mowed and weeded my yard for almost two hours and I didn't mind at all.  Last night I had the urge that I wanted to go workout today.  I woke up and didn't hesitate to get to the gym.  The interval training of jog/walking was a bit more tiring for me today, but I finished it.  I then went and lifted weights targeting my legs.  I always love leg days because it gives me great satisfaction to see my thigh muscles pop and for a moment I don't feel so chubby.  

I am planning to go to Oregon with my brother to his in-laws house.  I will reap the benefits of someone else owning a boat so that I might ride the white waves of the lake.  I love boating and while I may never be able to justify ever buying one for myself, I will always welcome other people to make that decision to own one.  This way I can befriend a nice couple who will invite me to join them on the water for the small cost of a batch of cookies and some soda without all the fuss of insuring such a motorized craft.  I am great company and perhaps this couple will find my inappropriate jokes about stereotypes funny and in turn offer their own jokes, hopefully dirty in nature.  We will laugh all the day long.  This is my dream and no it will not be happening this weekend.  I will need to remember that not everyone finds my humor hilarious.  I will however, still enjoy the company and offer jokes that more people might enjoy.  One day that couple will find me; wherever they are.