Wha?? I have literally been here the entire time

Yes I do exist for those of you who thought that I had disappeared into some other mystic realm.  I do understand that I have not acknowledged this blog which is supposed to be transparent in nature.  I could give you plenty of excuses as to why I have not posted and I could weave a dramatic reason for my choices, but instead, I will break it down quite simply; I was feeling sorry for myself.  I had experienced the second week lull and fell for the ever so easy trap of thinking that all of my problems would be fixed within a week.  Of course I had tons of motivation the first week, everyone does.  It is always the subsequent weeks that make up the bread and butter of weight loss.

I have done this path before.  Why is it still so difficult?  Why do I constantly feel like I am on an uphill climb?  I think I thought that all of my healthy habits that I learned before would suddenly reappear and make my life so much easier.  When I think about the things I did before that ended up in success; the recipe is quite simple.  I cut out most of my dessert consumption and I stopped going out to eat.  Those were the two biggest catalysts for me.  Guess what I have been doing these last 13 days?  You got it! I was eating like a monster and going out instead of preparing my own meals.  The workouts before started slow and while regaining calories is always a plus when playing the calorie game, it wasn't the only process in motion.  I was literally obsessed with everything I was eating.  I was meticulous in my records and had to confidence and energy to keep it going.   The other thing that is different from before was the fact that I only had a two year old and a baby at the time.  Now I have a 7, 4, and 2 year old.  They keep me exhausted and thinking about getting out to exercise is sometimes more than I can bear.

Again, I said I wasn't going to list excuses, but like most people with an addiction, I try to justify my actions in any way possible.  In the words of my older sis, I need to pick one thing that I know I can control and start with that.  I have thought about it for a few days now and I think the biggest problem that I face is what I said before, dining out and too many desserts.  I am going to focus on dining out.  Heaven knows I don't need to be spending money that I really don't have to save a little time in food preparation.  I can cook my meals and certainly better than what is being offered at a standard eatery.  I need to be more prepared for my meals to make it easier to choose home than going out.  This is what I will be focused on.  I can't keep playing the rollercoaster.  It is actually more tiring than just sticking to something and seeing it through.