Oh where to begin

The last week leading up to the starting of school is really stressful.  I wasn't really ready to start the new semester and now that I am two days into it, I am STILL not ready to start the semester.  There are some days I wake up and wish that I had nothing on my docket.  Yesterday I was able to spend 1.5 hours at home with no kids and there was plenty to do around the house.  The dishes were dirty, laundry needed to be folded and the house was in overall disarray.  I chose to watch Steve Harvey instead.  No, I am not usually a Steve Harvey fan, but he was helping me escape what I was ignoring for at least a little while.  Yesterday I rode my bike into campus and I enjoyed the ride.  There is something about letting your mind wander whilst you feel the wind rush through your hair that makes you feel alive.  Maybe this means I need to invest in a motorcycle again.  I don't know how often I will be able to post this semester.  I will try to get my fitness on wherever I can, but I am taking full-time classes.  After toting kids back and forth to daycare as well as using my brain cells to remember information, I have very little energy to do anything else.  Not to mention that I still have the house to take care of.  Oh crap, I am getting stressed out just thinking about it.  It's a conundrum isn't it?  If you take the time to work out, you will have more energy to get through the day, but where can you find the time?  I already have to wake up at 6:30 to be to class by 9.  Oh geez, I gotta quit complaining and find the time.  It'll be better for me in the long run.

Summertime Blues

This summer I have been taking online courses through Boise State in order to be that much closer to being done with my degree.  Initially when I planned my schedule back in April, I thought it would be a great idea.  I was looking at dates and everything looked to be just right.  I was able to take the classes without a hitch, but I feel like I completely lost my summer.  I wasn't able to completely calm down because there was always looming homework in the background.  I just finished the last of my classes leaving me with only one week of relaxation before I have to start a new whole new semester.  Ugg to the max.  Am I happy that I was able to complete two more classes?  Yes but next summer I am going to think long and hard before I schedule myself out for the entire three months.  

I have been staying busy this week.  I did some free weights at the gym next to all of the other meatballs and it was so stressful.  They didn't do anything to me to make me be afraid, but they all watch each other.  It is a creepy place if you don't have a buddy and especially if you are a woman.  I feel like I need to take a male body part with me to wave around and assert my dominance; mark my territory if you will.  Otherwise I get the stink eye when I take up space in front of the mirrors.  My training session was a good one because I was sore for the next three days.  I am trying to get my upper body more toned and so I opted to use the barbells.  There is a major difference between using the weight machines and using barbells.  I feel like a get a better burn when I use the free weights.  Instead of localized training, more of my body is in motion.  

Another great thing happened yesterday, Adam hooked up the child buggy to my bike so I can now pull the kids behind me when we go on bike rides.  Usually he is the one to do it, but I asked him to switch it over to mine and I am glad that I did.  I felt my legs burning and my muscles engaged, which is great.  Now I can take the kids on rides when I am bored.  One might ask, hey Pat why don't you just ride Adam's bike when you take the kids out?  Well friend, let me tell you.  He has a skinny little bike seat.  I feel like my butt is slowly fusing to the seat making it feel like I am riding on my pelvis bone.  It is painful and leaves my inner thighs sore for days.  No thank you.    

Grim Death Nearly Grabbed My Hand

I have a pretty great narrative for today but before I get started, let me clear the air by saying that I completely and utterly quit my cleanse.  I was unprepared for how much produce I was going to have to consume in a day.  I was positive about the whole thing, until...well I wasn't.  There are only so many apples a human can consume in one day before the taunts of an actual meal no longer can be suppressed.  I haven't picked it back up because it seems like a bad idea in retrospect.  Why would anyone take the goodness of eating away?  I know that this is being said ironically because I am a fatty that needs to seriously address her eating habits, but let's be honest, was I really going to change how I was eating just from a cleanse?  No probably not.  I failed, let's not dwell on it.

Today is a wonderful Sunday.  I slept in and then was able to enjoy a lovely brunch with my family.  All was going well until Adam mentioned that he wanted to go on a hike.  He loves to go on hikes but I simply do not.  What is so interesting about trudging up a mountain side, getting all sweaty and constantly jumping out of the way of pesky grasshoppers?  I obliged today because I like spending time together as a family outside.  It gets the kids to interact with nature and we all know that all of us could use the fresh air.  In the beginning of spring, we were feeling the effects of cabin fever and decided to try out the hike otherwise known as "Table Rock".  To say that I felt like dying was a gross understatement.  The entire journey felt like I was carrying big bags of bricks on my ankles.  I didn't want to do this hike again for quite some time, so today when Adam suggested that this be the place of our adventure, immediately my belly began to turn but I chose to suck it up and enjoy myself.

I have been going to the gym pretty regularly lately.  I felt good about my physical ability when we first started and was excited that I wasn't totally out of breath when we began.  Madeline almost from the beginning of the hike began to complain about it.  She is not what you'd call physical.  She'd prefer to sit and look pretty instead of doing anything active.  Jude was running around like a mad dog and Ani Rose got the luxury of Adam's shoulders for her journey up.  I'd say we were half way up the mountain when I turned to Adam and said, "this is great, I am not even out of breath".  He said good, but with a slight tone of uh huh, just wait we haven't hit the hard part yet.  We rounded the corner where the flat area ended and the steepest portion of our journey began.  I looked up at what we were supposed to walk and my eyes became wide and the trail seemed to get longer with every passing glance.  I whispered swears under my breath as my spawn were in earshot of hearing me but I continued to trudge on.  Soon the water was gone, my mouth was dry, and I wondered what in the hell we were doing out in this wilderness.  Meanwhile, Adam carrying a 30 pound child couldn't have been happier.  It's times like these when I want to run with a long stick and knock all the happy people on the trail down.  How dare they be happy when I am so miserable?  Where are they finding the energy?

The hike got more and more steep and uneven.  I was breathing like a large barn yard animal getting ready to birth its calf.  Adam kept reassuring not only me, but the two older kids as well that we were so close to the top.  I didn't believe him and I was right to.  The mountain was slowly swallowing up my soul.  The bricks that were on my ankles in the spring suddenly reappeared but I couldn't go back now.  I would walk past people who were on their way down and I would see in their eyes that they were genuinely concerned for my well being.  It was shorter to the top than to the bottom but I would still look back and imagine myself tucking into a ball and getting back down in like 10 seconds.  Finally as my husband had promised, the end was in sight, but as a last F-you to every person scaling that hike, there are a set of steep rock steps that you have to take to the top.  I felt like crying as I lifted my feet to climb.  Out of freaking nowhere a grasshopper had the nerve to try and scare me.  Try isn't the right word, he successfully scared me, but I lacked the energy to properly flail around.  Instead I kind of made a groan-grunt sound and clumsily swung my arms to shoo him away.

The last and final step meant I had made it to the top of table rock.  I was proud of myself, but didn't really get that elation that a person might get when tackling something so daunting.  I looked for a water fountain knowing full well that there was no such thing as a fountain in nature that wouldn't give you dysentery if you drank from it, so I sat down instead.  The view was beautiful and my body was sore, just as any good workout at the gym delivers.  When Maddie complained about her legs, Adam reminded her that when your body hurts it means you are working hard.  I took this as good advice.  My body did need to hurt, otherwise, what is the point of a workout?

I will say that even though the incline was a total son of a bitch to climb, I was able to catch my breath quickly.  I felt myself being stronger this go around than I did in the spring.  I am proud of that silly hike.  It was hot and the kids were totally done when we got back to the car, but I felt happy once we were on our way back home.  All of my efforts to workout paid off in the form of not letting grim death take me to the place where failed hikers go, Kentucky.  I am so happy that I went back to table rock today.  I know that my story was a tad dramatic, but it all really happened.  Someone needs to make a movie.  It'll be a box office smash.              

Today Feels Like The Day

I have decided that today is the day to do my cleanse.  I didn't want anything that would be too long and thought that a two week plan would be just enough of a struggle to push through.  My sister sent me some texts about how her husband was told to do a cleanse recommended by his doctor.  I think this might be a good trail to follow.  It consists of two weeks of fruit and vegetables for the day with protein at dinner time.  With anything, I find myself thinking it over and talking myself out of it, which is why it is happening today.  If I waited until Monday instead of today, I'd lose 4 days of detox time.  That's 4 days longer that I have to go and anyway, why is Monday always the starting point?  Because everyone wants a few more days of freedom before sentencing.  I am tired of the freedom, my butt has had enough freedom, no what I need is hard time.  I am the type of person who doesn't like to deprive myself of anything.  It is a real problem and I acknowledge that, which is why I think I need to do this detox.  I know that I am not going to lose 50 pounds in two weeks, that really isn't the point.  It is a way of starting fresh and to clean out the pipes so to speak.

I am also thinking about the support that I receive on the daily.  My sister Chris calls me when she sees that I haven't posted for a few days just to make sure that everything is ok.  My other sister Briana sends me things that show that it is ok to make mistakes.  Of course I cannot forget Dara.  She has been on my side since the beginning, four years ago.  It's amazing the power of social media.  I want to send a thank you to everyone that reads this old blog.  I really appreciate the support.

Hi There

Umm can we talk about the fact that it is already August?  When the crap did that happen?  My parents came into town from Thursday to Sunday and I'd like to say that it was spent exercising and eating right, but I shall not fib.  We ate lots of junk food and didn't really do anything in the way of physical exercise.  On the upside, I scored a brand new bike that was purchased at an auction by my father.  It was unexpected and I was grateful for it.  Yesterday was a day that I had planned on going to the gym, but when I awoke in the morning, I was greeted by a mountain of laundry and a dirty house.  Thinking about it now, I realize that I didn't clean my house for four days while my parents were here.  Today was spent going to dentist appointments and grocery shopping followed by more laundry.  I feel as if laundry is a curse and wish that I could throw my clothes away and start with new ones daily to avoid doing it.  The tedious task of folding endless amounts of clothing can send me into a spiral some days.  The pile remains the same size regardless of how many shirts get taken out of it.  Don't even get me started on the sock pile.

I think I need to be more concerned with my diet than I am.  I do the work of going to the gym, I should be seeing a much bigger payout than I have been.  Perhaps ice cream in the evening isn't really helping my well being, even though I get hot and bothered just thinking about consuming a giant, caramel laced bowl of delicious iced cream daily.  I will walk through the frozen treat section of the grocery store and talk dirty to all the options in each lustful and dreamy glass partition.  I try to look conspicuous, but I doubt I am doing a very good job.  I'll even try to ignore the ice cream but sneak a peek through my peripheral vision before begrudgingly heading towards the bread section.  I often don't buy these things because I know what I will do to them once I get home.  It involves a spoon but don't worry, there is no evidence to prove that I was the perpetrator; I leave no trace.  Wait, where am I?

Anyway, I am contemplating a detox cleanse to help me on my journey.  I don't want anything too long because I know I won't finish.  I am going to have to do some research on the matter.  I have to work tonight, but I do plan on getting my butt to the gym tomorrow morning.  Good luck to anyone else who struggles with this problem.  It's such a bitch sometimes to have discipline.